Heaven's Soulmate
by TayBee
Summary: Heaven is perfect, but the first couple of months suck. Bella lost Edward decades ago, and married Ben, a minister whom she loved. What happens when she arrives in Heaven to find Edward waiting for her? Can she forgive him for his sins on earth? Drabbles
1. Chapter 1

_It's a drabble fic. Chapters are supposed to be short.  
>I'm not SM, just so ya'll know:)<em>

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><p>Bella Cheney knew that she only had a few moments left on earth. She could feel the angels surrounding her.<p>

A soft smile crossed her face as she accepted her fate. There was no fear in death.

She would see her Benjamin again soon. He had left her several years earlier, and while she had missed him, Bella knew they would meet again in heaven.

As her eyes drifted closed for the last time, a small voice, angelic in nature, whispered in her ear.

"What happens when you realize the man you spent your entire earthly life with was the wrong one?"


	2. Chapter 2

_Earth, 2007_

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><p>Bella had expected Ben's proposal. They had met her senior year in college and had been dating for their entire two years of grad school. Marriage was the next step.<p>

When Ben dropped to one knee, in front of their entire church family, Bella immediately felt self-conscious, and if she was entirely truthful to herself, slightly trapped. It's not that she would have said no if people weren't watching, she wanted to marry Ben, but he knew her hatred of public displays of any kind. And this proposal was all sorts of a spectacle.

Ben had been the "back-up minister," at a small and developing church not far from where they attended school. He would take over the job and become the full time minister as soon as he graduated. That particular Sunday morning he was giving a sermon while the regular minister was out of town.

Bella sat in the front row, her hair a little more curled than usual. She had wanted to look as nice as possible for Ben. He had seemed nearly frantic about the particular sermon he had been preparing all week.

Ben had been reciting verses about love that morning, and about how when it was pure and honest, God ensured that the love he had placed in their hearts would always prevail.

He was halfway through the service when he called Bella up on stage. She had blushed brightly when the church broke out in applause at the sight of Ben lowering to the ground. She did not cry like she had expected to when the moment finally came. She had been a little too mortified.

She said yes, of course, knowing that Ben would provide her an amazing life and marriage.

They were married a year later on the same stage Ben had proposed on.


	3. Chapter 3

_Heaven_

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><p>The gates of Heaven were more beautiful than she expected. They were so much more than she and Ben had read about.<p>

The feeling of joy that overtook her was the greatest she had ever experienced in her life.

Several people milled about outside the gates, all dressed in white robes with different colored sashes. She fought the urge to run her hand along one of them.

Eventually, Bella found herself standing directly before the gates of Heaven. Her mother and father were both there, smiling brightly at her. They were much younger than she remembered them. They looked to be in their late twenties. The rest of her family, loved ones, and many people she did not recognize stood behind them, all smiling and beckoning to her.

The gates opened behind the group and revealed the streets of gold she had heard so much about. Her family called to her and she ran to them. Her legs moved as fast as they could, but her muscles didn't protest and her breath didn't speed up.

When she reached them, she was engulfed in the most loving embrace she had ever experienced.

But something was wrong.

"Where's Ben?"

Her mother paused slightly and grabbed both of Bella's hands.

"He's with his soulmate," she said somberly.


	4. Chapter 4

_Heaven_

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><p>"Soulmate?" Bella tried to hide the confusion, hurt, anger, and desperation in her voice. How could this be Heaven if she was feeling these emotions? How could this be Heaven if Ben wasn't with her?<p>

"God puts one person in our lives that he made exactly for us," her mother said, draping her arm around her father. "And sometimes, when we live on earth, we don't always end up spending our lives with that person."

"But God shows us the right person when we get here," someone added. It may have been her grandmother, but Bella was having such a hard time processing that she couldn't move her eyes away from her mother's concerned face.

"Ben was my soulmate," Bella denied. "I loved him."

Bella's mother frowned deeply. It was such a rare expression to see in Heaven.

"You will always love him," her mother finally agreed, "but you will come to find that the way you love Ben is not the same as the way you love the man that God made just for you."

"Who did God make for me that could be any better than Ben?" Bella's voice was louder than she expected. She could feel the anger and frustration rolling down her skin. Who were these people to tell her the sixty years she'd spent with Ben had been a mistake?

"Me," a voice she instantly recognized said.

"No," she whispered, spinning to see Edward standing in front of her. "It can't be you."

She wasn't sure how it happened, but suddenly, Bella was in a pristine white bedroom, alone. She looked around in shock, wondering how she had gotten there.

She wasn't tired, and a part of her knew she would never sleep again, but that didn't stop Bella from walking to the bed and lying down on it.

When she was firmly hugging the largest pillow, she started crying.


	5. Chapter 5

_Earth, 2008_

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><p>"I was thinking," Ben said, pulling Bella's attention from the paper she was currently reading, "about our vows."<p>

"What about them?"

They were getting married in two months, and it always made Bella nervous when Ben had a new idea about something. Did they have time to change anything?

"About the 'Till death do us part' section. I want to say 'As long as we both shall live' instead."

"And why is that?"

"You and I obviously both believe that Heaven is the second life we will have, and I think we'll still be married in Heaven, don't you?"

Eternity with Ben sounded like a nice way to go. "Okay," she agreed. "Let's stay married in Heaven."


	6. Chapter 6

_Heaven_

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><p>Eventually, Bella made her way out of the room she had disappeared to. She peaked down a long hallway and realized she was in a dorm like building. Only there were no bathrooms, cafeterias, or study rooms.<p>

Edward was standing at the end of the hall.

"You'll get used to that," he said, pushing off the wall and slowly walking towards her. "When you get overwhelmed or just need a moment alone, you just end up in your room."

"Shouldn't I be meeting Jesus or something?"

Bella couldn't believe the tone she was using, in _Heaven_ of all places, but something had to be wrong here. Edward couldn't be her soulmate.

"I know this is a little weird," he said, finally standing directly in front of her, "I honestly didn't expect to find myself here, after everything I'd done on earth."

Bella looked away, not appreciating the memories Edward was forcing upon her.

"Bells, please look at me," he begged, bumping her chin with his hand. "I've been here for seventy years now, and I can help you out."

"I don't know if I want your help," she said, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill again. The look in Edward's eyes reminded her of many things she thought she'd buried so long ago.

"Would you like to meet our daughter?"

And just like that, Bella was back in her room again.


	7. Chapter 7

_Earth, 2001_

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><p>"I'm Edward," a sloppy voice said from behind her. Bella rolled her eyes slightly at her new college friends in amusement and turned to face the boy that was currently poking her back. "And what's your name?"<p>

Bella's eyes slowly traveled up the boy's, no, _man's _body. He was astonishingly attractive. Even though he was drunk off his ass, Edward managed to shake her hand and place a small, electric kiss on the back of it.

After a short introduction and long conversation, the bar they were at announced last call. Edward had sobered up quite a bit in the three hours they had been talking, and he begged Bella to go home with him.

"No funny business, I swear. I just don't want this night with you to end."

But there had been so much funny business.

And there had been months of dating after it.

And then there was a pregnancy.

Just two months after Bella had shared the news with Edward, he relapsed.

And she hated him so damn much for it.

The first time she saw the heroin, she left. She had never screamed so loudly, cried so hard, or been so angry. She told him she wouldn't come back until he was clean.

He had been clean for two years when he'd met Bella, but something about knowing a baby was on the way, even though he had been excited, ran him back to heroin. He hadn't gone looking for it. It had literally shown up on his front doorstep with a note from an old friend, Jacob.

"Heard you got a kid on the way, thought you could use a little break. Just one last time."

Edward told Bella he had held on to the drugs for a month before he finally caved to it.

But that's the thing about a relapse. You just have to cave once to be stuck again.

Bella leaving was all it took to get him in to rehab. He quit cold turkey, and was a week clean when he called her.

She moved back in, proud of him, but hesitant. One week clean didn't mean much to an addict.

But he stayed clean. And his therapist told him that maybe a confrontation with the "friend" that had sent Edward the heroin in the first place was necessary.

Edward didn't want to go, but Bella encouraged it. If the therapist thought it was a good idea, then it had to be. Surely it would help him. Edward all but begged to not go, but Bella was pregnant, and they loved each other so much. He would do anything for her.

After a final argument, Edward stormed out the door to tell Jacob that he was clean for good, and wouldn't ever be getting high again.

He died of an overdose in Jacob's apartment.


	8. Chapter 8

_Heaven_

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><p>After reliving the painful memory of Edward's death, Bella finally emerged from her room again. He was still standing there, a sad expression on his face.<p>

"You left me there," she said, finally able to speak to the man that had abandoned her for drugs. "You left me on that earth alone, pregnant, and dying a little more every day."

"I know," he said, but he didn't apologize. They both knew it wouldn't be enough.

"And then I lost our baby. I lost you a _second_ time. And now, you're telling me that while I grieved for the two of you every day, you got to spend time with her in Heaven?"

"She's beautiful," he whispered. Bella slapped his face before she could think about it.

"You selfish _bastard,"_she screamed. "I died so many times living that life. And you took the easy way out!"

Edward looked at her in shock. Her slap hadn't hurt physically. There was no pain in Heaven, but man, if that hadn't torn his heart in two.

"You do _not _get to take the easy way out, watch me lose our child, and then tell me you've spent the last seventy years getting to know her while I thought I'd never get the chance! You do _not _get to brag about her."

"I'm sorry," he said, "I know I left you. I know I was horrible. And I know that you blame me for losing her." His head dropped and he ran a hand along his face. "I'm sorry that I've gotten to know her. I'm sorry that I loved her too much to leave her alone like I should have. But she needed a father here. And she knows you. She watched you as you grew. She loves you so much and can't wait to meet you."

Bella fought back tears and slid down the wall she was standing against. Edward sat next to her and grabbed her hand.

She hated it, but she loved it.

"When can I see her?"

"She wanted to give you a few hours to get used to it here. You can see her then."

"What's her name?"

"Bethany."

Bella found a happy, desperate, bitter laugh breaking through her lips. "I never told you I wanted to name her that."

"I could hear some of your thoughts once I got here. You kept calling her that. And when she showed up here, I hugged her, told her I loved her, and called her Bethany. It was as simple as breathing."

"How old is she?"

"In Heaven, you become the age you were at the prime of your life on earth. Since Beth didn't get to live on earth, she got to grow up like a child here in Heaven. She stopped growing in her twenties."

Bella began crying silently. Her tears poured down her face without ceasing.

She had a daughter. A daughter she thought she had lost and would never see again. A daughter that had grown up without her, but loved her anyways.

She had to move her train of thought to something else. Thinking about Beth was going to drive her crazy if she didn't get to see her for a few hours.

"I married someone."

" I know," Edward said softly.

"They told me it was a mistake. They told me that I spent sixty years with the wrong man. How could they tell me that? Ben was so good to me."

"After what I put you through, you needed someone good for you."

"What was I supposed to do for the rest of my life? Just wait to die so I could see you again?"

"No. Don't ruin your marriage with him. Ben was good for you. He was a good man to spend your life with."

"Where is he now?"

"He is with Angela, a girl he met several months after proposing to you."

Bella gasped, and for the first time, she met Edward's eyes and held his gaze.

"He didn't cheat on you," Edward added, realizing where Bella's train of thought was going. "He would never do that. He never thought about breaking off the engagement. He believed once you made the decision to marry someone, you were the same as married."

Bella nodded, but couldn't help but feel guilty that she had kept Ben from his true soulmate. Would he resent her for it?

"He did think of Angela, from time to time, but he never loved her on earth. He loved you: the way God wants all husbands to love their wives."

"If our love was the kind God wanted, then why is he putting me with you?"

It sounded harsher than she meant it. Bella was really only asking out of curiosity.

"Because the love you had with Ben lacked passion. It lacked obsession. It lacked things you can only have with your soulmate."

Bella nodded, and finally let her walls down just a little. She closed her eyes and leaned her head on Edward's shoulder.

"Heaven is perfect," he told her. "But the first couple months suck."

She laughed, and the sound surprised both her and Edward.

"This is too weird," she said, her eyes still closed and the warmth of Edward's shoulder moving into the side of her face.

"It get's weirder," he warned.


	9. Chapter 9

_Earth, 2001_

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><p>"So there's something you don't know about my past," Edward said. "And I'm kind of worried it's a deal breaker."<p>

Bella's stomach dropped just a little bit. She and Edward had been seeing each other for a few weeks now. Surely if something was seriously wrong with him, she would have discovered it by now.

"What is it?"

"I didn't have the best childhood, Bella. You know that," Edward admitted. His voice wavered a little bit as he spoke, and Bella grew more nervous by the second. She knew it was hard for him to talk about his parents, and she rubbed his arms in what she hoped was a reassuring comfort.

"When I was sixteen, I tried heroin."

Bella gasped at Edward's admission. _Sixteen?_ He had been so young.

"I was a stupid kid," he said, "and I got addicted pretty quickly. I was sent to rehab a few weeks after I graduated high school. I've been clean for two years, Bella, and I'm never touching the stuff again, but I needed you to know that it may bring up some issues for us in the future."

Bella's fear faded as she took in the look in Edward's eyes. "I would never hold your past against you," she said, leaning in to kiss him to try and convey the feelings she was too chicken to say out loud. "And I'm honored that you would tell me about it." She ran her hands through his hair, hoping to relieve the worry that was still so evident on his face.

He still looked at her like he was guilty of something. It was like he felt inadequate because he couldn't change his past.

"Look, Edward, as long as you're by my side, we can handle anything together. Okay? Just don't leave my side."

Edward finally rewarded her with the smile that Bella loved the most. "I couldn't leave your side if I wanted to," he told her. "I'm pretty much stuck here till the day I die."


	10. Chapter 10

_Heaven_

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><p>"Does Ben know I'm here?"<p>

Bella and Edward were back in her room, where it was more comfy for the both of them.

"He's aware that you've arrived," Edward said, "but like Beth, he wanted to let you adjust before you saw each other."

"Can I see him now? I know it's silly, since he's with a new woman, but I feel like I'm cheating on him just talking to you."

"Of course. You can see him right now, if you wish."

As soon as Edward finished talking, there was a knock on the door.

Bella couldn't move, suddenly frozen to her spot on the bed. Edward stood and squeezed her shoulder before walking to the door.

"Hello, Edward. I see I'm needed sooner than I expected." Bella could hear Ben, but she couldn't see him yet. Edward nodded politely with a weak smile to Ben and opened the door the rest of the way to allow him in.

"I'll just step outside," Edward said somberly, giving Bella one last glance before he shut the door with Ben and Bella inside.


	11. Chapter 11

_Heaven_

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><p>Bella couldn't believe her eyes. Ben looked so young. He looked like he was 26, maybe 27.<p>

"I can't believe how young you look," she said, finally voicing her astonishment.

Ben chuckled. "Have you looked at yourself yet?"

Bella blanched at the thought. She hadn't even given her own appearance a second thought.

Suddenly, a mirror appeared on the wall next to where she was sitting.

"Oh," she said, looking at a face she hadn't seen in many decades. "I look like I'm-"

"About twenty-one?" Bella turned to Ben when he finished her question for her. A thought ran through her head. _In Heaven, you become the age you were at your prime of life on earth._

"I was twenty-one when I met-"

"Edward," Ben said. "He was your prime of life."

"So, you're stuck at twenty-eight because that's how old you were when you met Angela?"

A soft smile graced Ben's face. "I was. She was my soulmate, but I had already given my heart away to someone I loved very much."

Bella squirmed on her bed. She was growing uncomfortable with this situation.

"You love her more than you loved me?"

"Bella," Ben said, slowly walking towards her and sitting next to her on the mattress, "I loved you with all the passion my earthy heart could muster. But love is different in Heaven. You'll discover that you can feel so much more here. You can be happier than you ever imagined. And I'm not the person that will help you feel those things."

"Edward is."

"He is," Ben admitted, finally lowering his gaze. "And when I first arrived here, I couldn't believe what they were telling me. You were the love of my life, and my parents told me we couldn't be together in Heaven."

"Was our marriage a mistake?"

"No, Bella. It was perfect. So perfect, that I resisted Angela for the longest time. I was determined to live here with you, just like we had promised each other. I had only met Angela once on earth. I didn't even remember her when I got here. And they were telling me that this strange woman was someone I was supposed to be with, over my _wife._ I was so angry"

He took a deep breath and looked Bella in the eyes. "And when I learned that the soulmate waiting here for you was Edward, I became furious. I yelled and kicked and tried to hit him. I told him he had destroyed your life on earth. I told him he would never be good enough for you. And he showed me how much the two of you would love each other once you finally got here."

They smiled at each other. They wore wilted expressions, almost given out of guilt and bitter acceptance.

"And when I finally let my guard down around Angela, I discovered what my parents had been telling me about. And I'm here to tell you that I'm not hurt that I'm not your soulmate. We had a great life together on earth. But don't let that hold you back. Be with the man God made just for you."

Bella dove for him, giving Ben the biggest hug she could offer.

"Oh, Ben, I don't know if I could ever love a man as much as I loved you, but I'll try."

"Did you notice how you used the word 'loved' instead of the present tense?"

Bella pulled her face away from Ben's chest. She hadn't realized it, but any time she had referred to Ben, she had said she had loved him, not that she did love him.

"It's because the second you got here, your heart was pulling you in the right direction." Ben pulled her off of the bed and pushed her towards the door. "The feelings of love you had for me on earth have now doubled, and moved to another man. Go to him."

Bella snorted a little. When she first saw Edward, _love _wasn't the first feeling that came to her. She hated how he left her. She hated him for spending time with their daughter while she only mourned her. She hated that he hadn't stood up to her the day that he died, hated that the hadn't refused to go to Jacob's. She hated him for taking his own life, but making her feel guilty for it.

"Thank you, Ben," she said, remembering her manners, but when she turned around, he was gone.


	12. Chapter 12

_Heaven_

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><p>Bella walked out of her room in shock.<p>

Ben was happy with another woman.

She was supposed to be with a man that she still hated.

Why couldn't they stop forcing this on her?

Her emotions swirled in a pattern she didn't recognize, making her dizzy and irritated.

When Edward was around her, the fog in her mind only got worse, making it harder to sort top from bottom.

"Don't," Bella commanded when Edward walked towards her with open arms. "Don't hug me. Don't touch me. Just don't."

Edward recoiled, but seemed to understand.

"I want to meet Beth."


	13. Chapter 13

_Heaven_

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><p>Bella had silently followed Edward down the dorm hallway. She had a million questions. <em>Will I always live in this place?<em> _Where does Beth live? Is she with a soulmate? _She didn't ask. After the encounter outside her room, the last thing she wanted to do was talk to him.

Eventually, they walked out a door at the end of the hall into a city filled with blinding bright lights.

Bella squinted and shaded her eyes with her hands.

"You'll get used to that," Edward said softly. He didn't elaborate.

They walked for a while through the city. Even though there were thousands of people surrounding them, it didn't feel crowded. It seemed like no matter how many people were in the streets, they expanded to accommodate all of them.

Eventually, the city transformed to a vast neighborhood. The houses were colorful, personable, and no two looked alike.

When they arrived in front of an oddly shaped home, decorated with colors Bella had never even seen before, they stopped.

"This is Bethany's home," Edward said. "Would you like me to go in with you?"

Bella heard him, but couldn't seem to use her voice.

She simply motioned with her hand while she ran to the door that he could come if he wanted.

She banged on the door relentlessly, and when it flew open, Bella was looking at a reflection of herself. She didn't have much time to look before she was embraced tightly in Bethany's arms.

They both burst out in tears right there on the doorstep.

"I love you, I love you," Bella said between her tears.

Beth just nodded along and held Bella as tightly as she possibly could.

"We should go inside," Edward mumbled from beside them, pushing past them to go through the door.

Bella yanked away quickly when his hand bushed her arm. Her violent reaction surprised her, but Edward just sighed and kept walking.

"Woah, mom. What was that?"

With that small exchange, Bella and Beth became the mother and daughter they were always supposed to be.


	14. Chapter 14

_Heaven_

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><p>"I watched you marry Ben, you know," Bethany said, squeezing her mother's hand.<p>

"Really?"

They were sitting in Bethany's living room on colorful couches, simply holding each other. Edward had disappeared into one of the many rooms in Bethany's house.

Beth smirked at her mother and nodded. "Yeah. Dad was really upset, but he was kind of okay with it. He knew that once you got here, you'd be together again. So I think it's just killing him a _little_ bit that you didn't jump into his arms and tell him you loved him the second you saw him."

"Is there any use in fighting that he's my soulmate?"

Bethany chuckled. "Well, he did tell me how your life together ended on earth. You'll be with him eventually, but I suppose you could make him wait a little longer."

Bella smiled. Her daughter was so wise. Had Edward raised her that way?

"I never stopped loving him," Bella admitted to her child. "But that doesn't mean I didn't hate him too."

Beth nodded, as if understanding what her mother meant.

"My soulmate refused to leave his earthly wife when they arrived here. They had died together in a car accident and tried so hard to stay together. Of course, God would never force two people apart, but nothing can compete with the love he gives us for our soulmate. I loved Eric so much, but he wouldn't have anything to do with me. So I loved him, but I hated him. I know what you mean."

"You have a soulmate," Bella mused. "I wondered about that earlier. Any children?"

"Neither of us had children on earth, so we don't have any of our own. But when children die before their parents, sometimes they'll live with us."

"I'm so sorry you had to wait for me here," Bella admitted.

"Mom, don't apologize. I know you could feel me with you, and I know you never stopped thinking about me. I still got to grow up with you, even if you weren't here with me."

"You're so perfect," Bella said, "And I'm such a mess. I feel like our roles are reversed."

Bethany laughed at her mother and leaned in further to her.

"No they're not. You have no idea how glad I was to finally have my mommy home."


	15. Chapter 15

_Heaven_

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><p>Bella had no idea how long she had been talking to her daughter. There wasn't a concept of time in Heaven.<p>

They had talked about everything. Bella learned that Bethany had come to Heaven as soon as she had miscarried her. Beth had looked about two when she arrived in Heaven, but she knew who her mother and father were. She didn't understand certain earthly traditions since she had never experienced earth first hand.

Bella learned that she would move out of the "dorms" and into a home in Heaven's neighborhood as soon as she was settled down with her soulmate. Bella took a deep breath. She still hated Edward so much. She knew she had to get over it, but she still had to figure out how.

Forgiveness was not any easier in Heaven, apparently. There was so rarely anything to forgive anyone over in Heaven. In fact, all anger in Heaven was caused by events that had happened on Earth.

Eventually the girls moved on to topics that made them laugh till they were crying. Edward reappeared and soon Bella met Beth's mate, Eric. He was a lovely man and everything Bella would have wanted for her daughter.

The four of them talked for what may have been hours on earth but only seemed like minutes. Eventually, Bella stood to leave, not wanting to overstay her welcome.

"I suppose I should get back to my dorm," she said, hugging Beth tightly one last time. "I'll come see you again soon. I love you."

Bella almost said "tomorrow," but she had no idea if there were days and nights in Heaven.

"Me too," Edward said. "I'll see you soon, honey," he kissed Beth on the cheek and walked out the front door with Bella.

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><p><em>This may be your only update today, guys.<em>

_The writing is completed, but if I keep publishing at this rate, I may not make it to New Years Day :)_

_I may add a few more "HEA" scenes just to give me a few more chapters, in which case I'll post more._

_Sorry for the lack of review replies, FF hasn't been able to "find" any of them..._

_Love Ya'll,_

_TayBee _


	16. Chapter 16

_Heaven_

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><p>Edward and Bella had walked silently to her dorm. Edward didn't attempt to touch her hand like he had when they had first talked.<p>

Bella was thankful for that. She had been so overwhelmed when she rested on his shoulder outside her room, but now she was just uncomfortable around him.

_You have to forgive him,_ she told herself. _He's sorry._

She could tell Edward still loved her, and she knew she still loved him too, but she was still so _hurt._ The way he had left her, and the empty way she had lived for three years after it, had still torn at her daily on earth.

She knew now that while she had fooled herself into thinking she was happy with Ben, he had merely held her together. She had used him as a band-aid to hold her heart together, but he hadn't healed the cracks. Seeing Edward had torn those band-aids off and let her heart fall to pieces again.

How could Ben not hate her for that? How could she not hate herself _and _Edward?

She and Edward stopped outside the door of the dorm-like building. He opened it and Bella walked inside. She was surprised when Edward followed her.

"I can find it from here," she mumbled, kind of wanting to be alone for a little while.

"I know, but my room is just down the hall from yours. I'm 134. You're 138."

"You don't have a house? You've been here for so long."

Edward looked away from Bella's face and turned his attention to his feet, which were currently drawing patterns across the floor.

"I, uh, I wanted to wait for you. So we could build a house together."

"You lived in that little bedroom by yourself for seventy years because you wanted to wait for me?"

"Uh, yeah. I mean, we used your room when Beth was little. That way she had her own room when she was too big to share with me, but,"

Bella cut him off, "That's sweet, thank you."

"It wouldn't be a home without you."

Bella faltered for a minute, unsure how to respond to Edward. "Well, um, I'll see you later, Edward," she finally blurted.

With that said they turned their separate ways and shut themselves inside their rooms.

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><p><em>P.S. I'm not trying to shove religious beliefs on anyone here... just FYI, but their room numbers correlate to 1 Corinthians 13:4-8<em>

_(The Love is patient verse)_


	17. Chapter 17

_Earth, 2002_

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><p>"Ah! Edward, stop! Please," Bella begged through laughter. "You win! You win!"<p>

Edward laughed and dropped his hands from Bella's sides. She still laughed as aftershocks of his tickling attack worked their way up her sides.

"Did you learn your lesson?" Edward joked.

"Yes. I will never call our child 'boogie bear' again."

"I'm just saying, Bells. You give a kid a nickname like that, they'll be taunted by their whole middle school."

Bella nodded and smiled brightly at Edward. They had only found out they were expecting a few weeks ago, but Bella couldn't be happier.

"Do you want a boy or a girl?" she asked, pulling Edward's body closer to hers.

"I want a baby," he replied. "Boy, girl, I don't care. I want whoever we can make together. And I want as many as we can make."

Bella smiled the same huge, cheesy, horribly sickening smile she had been using for seven months now.

"I love you."


	18. Chapter 18

_Heaven_

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><p>Heaven got pretty lonely pretty quickly if you didn't have someone to share it with. Bella learned that several moments after shutting herself inside her room.<p>

She watched people mill about outside through her window for a while, attempted to sleep even though she wasn't tired, and she discovered more of the powers of Heaven.

She wasn't sure why she was surprised. After all, her wall had turned into a mirror before. Why wouldn't it turn into a screen where an invisible projector could replay any moment of your life you wanted to see?

Bella watched Edward and she meet again. She watched herself telling Edward that she was pregnant. She saw them at their first doctor's appointment together.

Soon, Bella saw what she wanted to see the most: her daughter as a child. She was a toddler at her youngest. She could already walk and talk when she arrived in Heaven, but Edward still had to teach her so many things.

Bella found herself laughing at most of the images, but when she saw the ones where Edward was simply holding their baby girl, she broke down.

She had never cried such bittersweet tears.


	19. Chapter 19

_Heaven_

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><p>Bella was bawling when she banged on Edward's door. <em>Please answer. Please be there.<em>

Edward opened the door roughly. His hair was disheveled, like he had been running his hands through it.

Before she could even think, Bella collapsed against Edward. She held him as tightly as she could. Her tears ran down her face and on to his white shirt, but she couldn't bring herself to care.

His name fell off her lips over and over again; each time she said it more brokenly than the last. His arms wrapped tightly around her, and she reveled in his embrace. He pulled her gently inside his room, shutting the door behind them.

He tripped as they backed away from the door, and the two of them landed on Edward's bed. He lay still on his side while Bella clung to him as tightly as she could. Her tears didn't cease for a long time. They were both so in shock that neither of them made a move when she finally hiccupped for the last time.

"You took such good care of her," Bella finally whispered into his shirt. "You were such a good daddy."

Edward chuckled just a little. It was a heavy sound, thick with emotion. "I see you discovered the life review."

"I just, I can't believe it all. I could see you raising her. I saw you with her anytime I wanted to. I saw us, too. The night we met, the day you said you loved me, when I told you about Beth, it was amazing."

Edward hugged her closer to him one last time before he slowly pushed back on her shoulders. Bella moved away from his embrace and sat on the edge of his bed. Edward sad behind her and let his legs rest on either side of hers.

"Look at the pictures on my walls," he said, and Bella did as she was told.

Still frames of her life surrounded her. Almost every picture was from the year she spent with Edward.

There was a picture of Edward and she lying on his bed in his crummy old apartment. Her shirt was slightly pushed up and he was kissing her stomach.

"It's funny," Edward said, "how many beautiful portraits can be captured from real life."

Bella smiled and pushed further in to Edward's body. His warmth was so comforting. She saw dozens of more pictures of the two of them.

There were a few pictures of her from after Edward's death. One was of her getting a sonogram three days before she lost Beth. Her belly was slightly visible. The ultrasound tech had told her that she looked healthy. To the day of her death, the doctors had no idea what had caused her miscarriage.

But seeing all of the pictures and videos where Edward and Beth were together changed something in Bella's mind and heart.

Bella realized that Beth was _supposed _to be here, with her fathers, in Heaven, even though Bella was left on earth without them.

It wasn't Edward's fault Beth had been taken from her. It hadn't been her fault, either. It was destiny. Beth and Edward were destined to spend time in Heaven. Bella was destined to spend more time on earth.

But that didn't stop her destiny now.

With her new realization, Bella turned her head to the side and whispered words she never thought she'd get to say to Edward's face again.

"I love you."

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><p><em>Song for this chapter is "I Forgive You" by Kelly Clarkson. Check it out. <em>


	20. Chapter 20

_Earth, 2001_

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><p>"Oh, come on, Bella," her friend Jessica giggled from the living room of her college apartment. "There's no way you can love the guy after one night."<p>

"You don't understand," Bella said with a smile she hadn't been able to replace. "It felt like so much more than one night. He's amazing. And he was the perfect gentleman."

Jessica looked at her skeptically, eying the small hickey on the top of her shoulder.

"Okay," Bella said with a laugh, "he was the perfect gentleman until I took my shirt off."

At that they both had to laugh.

"But I'm telling you," Bella said, "that he's it for me. He's the one I'll be living and dying with."

And she had. She died the day he did, but she died over and over again.


	21. Chapter 21

_Earth, 2002_

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><p>Edward had never looked so nervous. And because their emotions were so oddly linked, Bella was nervous too.<p>

"What's the matter?" She asked for the thirteenth time.

"My therapist wants me to go see Jacob. To clear the air about the drugs."

Bella gasped slightly and pulled away from Edward the slightest bit. He hadn't mentioned his therapist since he began seeing him. It had been three months since his relapse. Bella was five months pregnant and emotional.

"It's crazy, right? I'm not doing it."

"No," Bella said softly, lowering her hands from the table and cupping her invisible belly. "I don't think it's crazy. Maybe once your old friends realize you don't _want _the drugs anymore they won't send them to you."

"You don't know my old friends," Edward said bitterly. "They won't give up."

"Edward, I think the therapist knows what he's talking about. If he thinks it's a good idea, then I do, too."

"That man has only spent six hours with me. What could he possibly know about my life?"

"He's a doctor," she countered. "I trust him."

"More than you trust me, obviously," Edward bit back bitterly.

"Excuse me?"

"I told you it's a bad idea to go over there, but you don't trust that. You'd rather trust some man you've never met."

"I think the therapist has a good point. That's all I said, Edward. Don't put words in my mouth." Bella fought hard to keep her voice at a normal decibel.

"I didn't put any words in your mouth! You spat them out at me all on your own. We're having a baby together, Bella. I deserve your trust."

"You have to earn my trust, Edward, and turning to heroin was a pretty shitty way to try and get it."

His fist banging on the table sent Bella flying back. "Don't bring that up against me! You know how hard I'm working! You know it's not easy! But I'm doing it! For you _and_ for our baby."

His voice shook the walls. Bella burst in to tears. She was so emotional, and Edward was right. She shouldn't be holding his past against him. She swore she never would. Even if it was starting to effect her.

"Baby," Edward said before Bella could get a handle of her emotions. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell. You're right, I don't deserve your trust." He pulled her in to his lap and wrapped his arms around her.

"No," she whispered, "you're right. I shouldn't hold that against you. I'm so proud of you for doing so well."

"I'm trying. I love you both so much. I have to stay clean for you two. I'll go to his apartment today."

"You don't have to."

"I don't _want _to," he corrected, "but I need to. I'm just scared."

Bella wiped her snotty face on her arm and looked in to Edward's watering eyes.

"Why are you scared?"

"I'm not strong enough. What happens if he doesn't back off?"

Bella shook her head. "Of course you're strong enough. You're the strongest man I've ever known."

From the look on Edward's face, Bella knew that he believed her. She was his source of strength and power.

But heroin was his Achilles' heel.


	22. Chapter 22

_Earth, 2002_

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><p>Bella woke up groggy and sore. She was still in the hospital, but she had no idea how long she had been there or what had happened. Her muscles were too weak to move, and her throat was too sore to yell.<p>

That hospital room was her silent hell on earth for twenty minutes before a doctor came to see her.

She had miscarried. Three days ago, she was carrying a perfectly healthy baby girl. But when she had woken up that morning, something felt wrong. Beth hadn't been moving. At all. And an hour later an ultra sound technician at an emergency clinic had confirmed her worst fear.

She had tried to deliver the corpse of her daughter after being induced, but something went wrong. She wasn't progressing the way she was supposed to.

The last thing Bella remembered was being wheeled off to the OR for an emergency C-section.

The doctor had been talking to her for a few minutes, but Bella only heard a few words.

_Too much bleeding._

_Flat lined._

_Complete hysterectomy._

She had thought she couldn't hate Edward more than she did the day he died. She had been wrong.


	23. Chapter 23

_Earth, 2005_

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><p>"Why would you blame yourself for all of it, Bella?"<p>

Her therapist pushed her glasses down her nose slightly, and her grey eyes tried to hold Bella's before she looked away like always.

"I told him to go to Jacob's. I told him he was strong enough. And he died. And because I couldn't handle it, our baby died. It's simple. It's completely my fault."

"It isn't your fault, Bella, and someday you'll realize that."

"I doubt it," she said.

It had been three years and she still blamed herself. Nothing was going to fix her.

"Are you still taking your anti-depressants?"

"Yes," she said absently. "I don't think they're working."

"We'll give them a few more sessions. If you're still not feeling any improvement, we can try something else."

It didn't matter what Bella tried. All the meds did was take her from numb to fuzzy. And when she finally quit taking them, she was clear headed enough to realize how angry she was.

She threw her engagement ring into the tithes tray at a new church by campus.

"That's a pretty generous donation," a voice said behind her. "I'm Ben."


	24. Chapter 24

_Heaven_

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><p>"After all of that," Edward said from behind her, "you can still forgive me?"<p>

"If you can forgive me," Bella said, watching the final image fade from his walls.

She hadn't meant to make them appear again, but they somehow had played out all over again. It had been easier the second time, since she had Edward sitting behind her and rubbing her back.

"You still love me," he whispered, almost as if he didn't believe it.

"I do," she replied. "And it's so much more than I ever knew could exist."

"From what I hear," he said, turning her face to his, "it will only get better with eternity."

Their lips connected in the first of many amazing kisses they would share in their forever as soulmates.

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><p><em>And that's where I'll leave them.<em>

_Thanks for reading, guys. This story just wouldn't leave me alone, and I finally decided I wanted someone to read it._

_Thanks for your kind reviews and PMs. As always, they have meant the world to me._

_Love Ya'll,_

_TayBee_

_P.S. I'll post a question and answer chapter, if ya'll are still asking any questions after all of this._


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